So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
