Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
