seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
