i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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