I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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