He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
