garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
