So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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