My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
