Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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