I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
