Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
