She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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