I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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