I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize