the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
MIDGETS
????
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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