There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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