finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
