Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
