Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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