watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
