Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
