dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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