How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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