Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
