I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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