Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
