so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
