sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
