i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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