gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I cockslap morals
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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