You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
