Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Farmville is her only friend.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Drake has all the answers
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
