I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
