my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
