I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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