rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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