You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
