Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
