I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize