i already hear my dad disowning me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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