omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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