You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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