I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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