Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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