I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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