ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
