I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
