Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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