I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So many bounce houses so little time
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
