My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
