You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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