Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You pole danced in your parka.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize