I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
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