I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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