Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize