why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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