I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize