I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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