good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
