Can Purell be used as lube?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
