I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I licked your asshole in confidence.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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