Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize