i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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