I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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