Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You can't special order awesome
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
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I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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