If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
