I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
