where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
