i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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